A conversation in Cologne

Much thanks to Andreas for translating the following Intro.de interview with the Beastie Boys.
Beastie Boys
Exclusive: The entire conversation

An interview with the Beastie Boys. You might think "Jackpot!" But it was just a round table of four journalists, and we had only 15 minutes with the band. We sat in the kitchen of the E-Werk in Cologne a half an hour before their show.

Following is a transcript of our attempt to have a conversation with the Beastie Boys.

Adrock: Sorry, we just arrived by bus. We are a little bit tired.

Journalist: You already made some experiments with your "Exclusive Instrumental Show." So no rap anymore?

Adrock: Well, actually this is not a big change for us. And, by the way, we still rap every now and then.

Journalist: Okay, so will you rap tonight?

Adrock: A little. Perhaps. Maybe. A little. Yes, perhaps. We actually do it to mix things up -- so we can go back to the songs on the older records. It makes it more interesting for us.

MCA: Hey, we are the band. We can do what we want.

Journalist: You already played in Berlin. How did the German audience respond to the instrumental show?

Adrock: Fantastic. It was great. But, in fact, it is a wrong label. We don't do just instrumental shows. As if we wouldn't have vocals! We wanted to establish a show around instruments, not turntables.

Mike D: At the moment, there are some debates about us. We are being called liars because we advertised our shows like that. And we are liars. It's cool to come out like that. I feel good about being a liar.

Journalist: Doesn't it scare your fans if you don't play your hits?

Adrock: We play the hits. But we are afraid of them.

Mike D: We're like the postman. It doesn't matter whether it's raining or snowing. We will come anyway.

Adrock: One second...you would play if there were 3 feet of snow?

Mike D: Absolutely!

Journalist: You had problems in Greece because of a riot.

Adrock: Yes that's true. First, we didn't really know what was happening. But when we heard that our dressing room backstage might burn, we decided to leave. It was a good reason to leave.

Mike D: The riot could have been a separate show. The people could have paid to watch the trashing. That's what they used to do hundreds of years ago.

MCA: We are just happy that nobody was seriously hurt. As far as we know, only a guy from Underworld was injured by a piece of broken glass in his face. He was in his dressing room when somebody bashed in the windows.

Journalist: Back to today's show...is there anything you must have backstage?

MCA: I like water. Water is extremely important. Salt is also important. Yes, salt is amazing.

Mike D: Fruits are essential for us as a band.

Adrock: Yes, you can use lemon juice to clean your injuries. It should help.

Mike D: We'd like a ship.

Journalist: And are you the captain?

Mike D: I like to wear captain's clothes.

Adrock: But you only look like somebody who likes to be dressed like a captain. Like a mascot.

Journalist: How did you get the idea of an all-instrumental album?

Adrock: It was Yauch's idea. We started to record with the instruments in summer. We had no other ideas about what to record.

Journalist: Is it true that you want to record "The Mix-Up" again? This time with guest vocals.

Adrock: Yes, we are considering it.

Journalist: With whom?

Beastie Boys: Madonna, Tom Jones, Tom Petty, Tom Arnold, Tom & Jerry, Captain Kirk -- this could be especially interesting. Oh, Bruce Springsteen, Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal…

Journalist: Would you like to make a soundtrack for a film?

MCA: Why for a film? I know a lot of people who do this. It's annoying. Then they tell you, "Oh we had to re-cut it. You have to do it again." But I would do it for a Steven Seagal film anytime.

Journalist: Did you have a lot of fun when you selected the song titles?

MCA: Yes, there were big fights. I wanted to call it "Thick Like Beyonce's Leg."

Adrock: But I didn't understand it.

MCA: Hey man, it's a good name. On the sly, I still call the album that.

Mike D: We had a board with a lot of titles. This time it was different choosing an album title because, in the past, the titles were defined by the lyrics.

Journalist: Now you could have called the album "Don't Be a Faggot." You wanted to do this in the past, but the record label was against it. Now you would be in a position where you could decide this.

Adrock: Yes, that would be super. A positive message for the people out there…

Journalist: On your web site, you talked about downloading. What's your position on this?

MCA: That was basically a joke. See, you are always confusing people!

Adrock: I don't remember writing that.

Journalist: Is it a problem for you that your interviewers never know if you are kidding or not?

Mike D: Are you kidding me?

Journalist: I am serious. What music do you listen to?

Mike D: Mostly punk rock. Slits, Killing Joke, Clash.

Adrock: Don't you listen to rare funk?

Mike D: Oh, yes, that's true.

Journalist: Were you more nervous about making "The Mix-Up" or producing the Bad Brains album?

MCA: I will never be nervous about producing a record.

Journalist: Isn't it funny that the Bad Brains are celebrating their reunion, while you are still here? You started at about the same time.

MCA: They are always breaking up. I think I have seen their "last show" at least 20 times. They always announced it like that.

Adrock: Do you know what? This is our last show! You can write it like that. We are breaking up now.

Mike D: Correct. And next week in Paris, we will celebrate our reunion on stage!

Journalist: Are you afraid of becoming the "Rolling Stones of Hip Hop"?

Mike D: Are you suggesting we sell leather jackets with our autographs?

Adrock: They made great records!

MCA: Bull! There are no similarities between us. They wear much tighter clothes than we do.

Journalist: It's an idea, isn't it?

Mike D: I think we have a long way to go.


4:39 PM friis said...

funny as usual. thanks for the translating it all :)

5:07 PM Hot Sauce said...

I edited the English translation so it would sound more like the Beastie Boys. Horovitz and Diamond's voices were easy to understand after translation, but I found some of Yauch's comments hard to understand. Look at the last thing Yauch says in the interview. In Andreas' original translation, he wrote that Yauch said, "Balls! There are no similarities between us" when speaking of the Rolling Stones. I'm no Yauch expert, but I can't see him saying "Balls!" -- at least, not to journalists. Maybe I'm wrong and he says "Balls!" all the time?

5:21 PM Klepto said...

i can picture yauch saying "balls!"

then it makes me giggle. :)

6:09 PM Hot Sauce said...


Balls, eh?

7:13 PM Spiffy D said...

What amazes me is that the press continue to attempt to play it straight with the Beastie Boys after all these years of retardedness. Thick Like Beyonce's Leg is a great title, perhaps it could be used for B sides or remixes or something?

-- D

11:08 PM Emily said...

I'd like to see them work with Steven Seagal. :D

11:38 PM Hot Sauce said...

I didn't realize until I read this interview that Midzi and I were at the Beastie Boys "last show" in Cologne AND their "reunion show" in Paris. :D

2:18 AM Anonymous said...

I love 'em, I love 'em, I love 'em...

Thank you for the English translation.

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